Home Instead Senior Care created and designed the 40/70 Talk with Parents. Please use it as a helpful guideline to start a conversation with your parent about tough issues. Sign up - on the left under Special Offers to receive our free Conversation Starters Guide.

View our Video on 40/70 Talk: Starting Conversations About Care For An Elder

In the research of seeking advice on family meetings when addressing our aging parents home care & critical life’s decisions, we like some families would rather chew nails than have select members give advice or opinion on how parents should live out their lives. Even though we come from the same blood line, each one of us are so different. It’s like comparing a woman to a man. We share different attitudes, perspectives, life experiences and joys, and fears.

• Start with immediate family then add extended family and friends for subsequent meetings if this would be helpful. Include the elder person in the meeting if at all possible.

• Make sure you can hear each other – literally, reduce background noise, check to see what has been heard through review, summary, etc.

• Consider large print or recorded material if resources or other written materials need to be reviewed together.

• Have ground rules such as agreeing to talk with the whole group together rather than member to member outside the meeting, can call time out if necessary, be polite and respectful of each other, no walking out.

• Stay focused on the purpose: “helping the parent maintain independent living as long as possible” or “developing a plan of care” or “planning for facility based care,” “home care” etc. Don’t wander into past hurts or past promises. It is a new day with new questions to consider. Eldercare is a process that changes over time and new plans and decisions come up.

• Respect each other’s opinions and listen to each other, especially to the elder person. Different opinions can be respected.

• Create an agenda and use it to stay on task.

• Identify someone to take notes and share them with everyone. Ensure that your elder can read the copy he/she is given. This can be used later to remind people of their agreements, responsibilities, and commitments.

• Consider a neutral 3rd party or professional to facilitate the meeting.

Greater Phoenix Assisted Living Alternative & Central Phoenix Assisted Living Alternative helps elders and seniors live safely at home. Call 623.583.5868, 602.265.8228 or 480.991.3959 for Home Care and Independence.